THERE ARE MILLIONS OF CONVERSATIONS OUT THERE EXPLORING THE VARIOUS AREAS OF THE HUMAN EXPERIENCE AND THE TRUTH OF WHO YOU ARE AND WHY YOU ARE HERE.
LIVE with Chloe is a deep conversation around the truth of who you are.
Each month we will explore different themes and vibrations of the human experience through the lens of the divine.
November’s theme is SHADOW
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OCTOBER 31st . 2018
COMING OUT OF THE SHADOWS.
“Drum sounds rise on the air, and with them, my heart. A voice inside the beat says, I know you are tired, but come. This is the way.”
SHADOW LIVES IN THE CLOSET, HIDING- WHEN REALLY IT WANTS TO BE SEEN AND OUT IN THE OPEN. SHADOW WANTS TO BE EXPOSED. SHADOW WANTS YOU TO EXPOSE IT TO THE WORLD.
I set the intention after the 2nd LIVE with Chloe call that I would wait a few days to choose the next call’s theme. I wanted to settle into and integrate the energy from the previous call, before jumping into new energy. I wanted to be. The good thing is that I hopped onto a plane to Sedona the day after the call, so I had a lot going on. I turned my devices off and truly turned inwards to be with what was there. The moment the retreat ended and I began my journey home to Vancouver, I felt the group’s energy appear. What is the next call’s theme? I decided to leave it. To drop it, until it revealed itself clearly. I found myself at a window seat on the plane (my favorite spot), looking out onto the landscapes below. I love falling asleep on the plane and waking up mid-flight to look out into the abyss of the world. To be completely transported to another place and perspective of life. To be completely disconnected from the world, traveling through time and space. I love looking out at the clouds and witnessing how magical it feels. To lose my self in observing the world from above, and to almost imagine seeing my own life from above. It feels like an all-access pass to god. To be so close to the higher power of the cosmos. As we began our descent into Vancouver I couldn’t help but notice the energy change, going from relaxed and “being” to suddenly aware of the life that we left behind and the life we were landing into. As if the mind voice was reactivated. As we lowered in elevation I began to notice what I couldn’t see before from so high up. I saw details that I couldn’t make out prior. Right before we landed in Vancouver I saw many shadows- and most of all I saw the shadow of the plane. For some reason, I found myself enthralled with observing the shadow as it got bigger and bigger, the closer we got to land. As we moved closer to land and further away from the sky, the shadow got bigger and bigger, until it completely disappeared. Shadow, I thought to myself.
Since deciding on this theme for November’s call, it is like the universe agreed so wholeheartedly with me that it chose to sound the global alarm on shadow.
Shadow has been popping everywhere. Other people are teaching on the shadow topic, people are talking about it and Vancouver has even stepped more clearly into the season of shadow, as fall and winter descends upon us. I already was convinced that it was clearly an intuitive choice, and then I received an email from a PR agency, inviting me the next #InGoopHealth event that was taking place in Vancouver, and guess what one of the main workshop themes was: shadow. I immediately laughed to myself and replied back with a very willing “yes” to attending. The truth is, that it didn’t stop there. I was actually walking Ollie my pup last night and decided to listen to an episode of Oprah’s podcast (which I usually listen to every 2nd Wednesday when I get my nails done), and guess what the topic of the most recent episode was: shadow.
So, if you’re not aware of it yet- it is very clearly a time to explore our shadows. Shadow is jumping out absolutely everywhere, to be seen. This is actually completely perfect because this is actually what shadow does. Shadow lives in the closet, hiding- when really it wants to be seen and out in the open. Shadow wants to be exposed. Shadow wants you to expose it to the world.
Something I always notice is that the topic that I choose for the LIVE with Chloe always end up being topics that I then personally go deeper into, within myself. It’s as if spirit puts me through the process first so that I can closely hold that space of unconditional love and empathy for you. Last night, as I was preparing for a psychic reading, I felt a massive and fast download of shadow insight. The greatest way to define shadow is: the parts of you that you have disowned, aka the parts of you that you do not want others to see or know about. Shadow is home to all of the shame, insecurity, guilt, judgment, and doubts that you hold about yourself, deep down. The biggest piece about shadow is that we don’t want to see it or acknowledge it. Most of us do our very best to hide it and push it down so much, that we forget it’s there. It never truly disappears though, it is always secretly functioning beneath the surface, impacting the movements above the surface. Impacting how you feel, what you do and how you interact with the world around you (and the people in it).
The truth is, the most effective way to work with shadow is to begin to acknowledge it.
To recognize that it is there and to begin holding space for it, so that you can begin to work together. The more that you push it down, the more it will run your life, or ‘takeover’ as Dr. Barry Michels called it (the Hollywood psychotherapist who taught the workshop on shadow for #ingoophealth). Shadow is a part of you. It is a separate being that lives inside of you, much like the ‘annoying roommate’ that Michael Singer speaks of in ‘Untethered Soul’. Trying to pretend the annoying roommate isn’t there doesn’t work. That would be like having an actual shitty roommate and pretending they aren’t there. Chances are, this roommate is going to get worse. Why? Because if they are in your life, they are in your life for a reason. They are pushing a button that wants to be pushed. They are mirroring to you a part of yourself that you are needing to see. So, a powerful step forward is to meet your shadow. To begin to understand who your shadow is and how he/she came to be so that you can also witness why they want so badly to be seen and embraced.
This work is important.
If you think that you don’t have a shadow, then the truth is that you aren’t being honest with yourself. If you are a human being living on planet earth- you have a shadow. We all do. It is essentially part of the human experience so that you can eventually witness and release the things from your being that hold you down. To see what the mind does, so you can understand who you are in the mind space. Is it you who is thinking or are you the one watching the one who thinks. Coming to a place of understanding that there is more than 1 being living inside of you, is already something that will break open the shell of protection that keeps you stuck out of the humanity of what it means to be human.
As Debbie Ford shares in Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations- shadow work never ends. It is something that will continue throughout your life, as you move through the motions of what it means to be human. The type of work you do and how it feels to move through it might change- but the shadow is here to stay. Last night, while I was preparing for a reading I began to see some deep part of my shadow that I hadn’t seen in a while. A big shadow of mine is actually the fear of being a bright star, and being afraid to outshine others. This is a fear that has lived with me for a long time and has transformed in how it shows up as I have shifted and grown. It is a shadow that didn’t start in my life, it has been passed down in my maternal lineage for several generations. It is ancestral. Right now, as I am practicing opening up and strengthening my mediumship muscle, I find myself quite regularly going into doubt and comparison about it. A way that my shadow maintains this is to remind me of the two “bad” readings I have had in my life. One which was the third official reading I ever did, which in hindsight went perfectly (she just wasn’t ready to hear what I was told to share), and one which I judged myself harshly for, because I got it into my head of who she was and her social reputation (a well-known influencer). It holds onto these memories and stories as a way to keep me small and in check whenever I begin to step too deep into the space of being a psychic medium. Instead of being in the truth of what these experiences represented (moments of growth and also to understand as a psychic that I cannot personally attach to what happens and really my only role is to be of service and love the soul by connecting to the divine), my mind cycles through its interpretation of failure. This isn’t the first time my mind has done this either- it is something it has done since I was little. To fixate on one moment of discomfort (when my shadow is exposed), and to make that moment much more powerful and meaningful than it actually is. I share these moments to give you examples of what shadow can show up as, as well as to see what happens when we pretend it isn’t there. The truth is that no matter who you are, you have your own set of beliefs/experiences/memories/traumas that bring you closer to or further away from the truth of who you are. The unique journey that shows up and how it shows up- is going to always be individual to you, and you will find that we are all connected in the experience of moving through these moments of living with (or trying to live without) shadow.
It couldn’t be a more perfect time to explore this space within yourself.
Today is Samhain, which is one of the most important days of the year in the witches calendar. This is a time when the veil is at its thinnest and we are the closest to the other side. This is a time when we can be with spirit and walk with the dead with way fewer barriers. The portal is open and we are invited to believe in the parts of ourselves that deep down, we know exists. Whether you are actively working with spirit, or not, this is a time of deep healing and connection. It is not just about candy and costumes, it is much more potent and powerful than what Halloween leads on. One of the biggest pieces is spirit isn’t something to fear, or live in fear of. Part of this time is to connect to your ancestors and loved ones who have passed to help them in releasing what keeps them stuck so that you can heal the lineage and move forward within your own spiritual journey. A lot of shame is carried through the ancestral lineage and shame is such a huge emotion when it comes to shadow and the things we move away from facing.
I wanted to share a ritual that I will be doing tonight with my Mum, just in case you are looking for some inspiration of how to connect to the energy that is present today.
First off, today just so happens to be Wednesday which is perfect because it is my free day off of client calls and readings. It is a day to fully focus on me and be present to what I need/want/feel drawn to. So far this day has begun with a proper sleep in (woke up at 9 am which is rare for me) and I began the day with a smoothie bowl filled with a bunch of adaptogens and nutrients to really nourish and feed my body. I didn’t really eat a proper dinner last night (my stomach was hurting actually), so I woke up really hungry. I’m also going to take the day off of coffee today, as I can feel that my body needs a break from it. There is a certain darkness about this day, not a heaviness, but more the darkness of the sky, the weather and the time of year. My apartment is lightly lit with candles and himalayan salt lamps, I have classical piano playing (right now, ‘My Love’ by the Midnite String Quartet is on) on my speakers and I am going to spend the morning writing and thinking about my loved ones (alive and passed). Later today, after I have a call with my mentor (every Wednesday), I plan to have the most nourishing late lunch with my Mum at Chau Veggie (my favourite meal, ever) and go to hers to begin our evening of rituals. We are going to build a Samhain altar with apples, pumpkins and any other late autumn fruits we find/have. We are also going to place some flowers and feathers, to represent life and death, along with candles and some crystals (black tourmaline, obsidian, and rose quartz). I’m also going to include some photos of ancestors to connect to and honour on the altar. The evening will be filled with intuitive painting, along with writing to release and a meditation to connect to our ancestors. Before we start painting, we are going to set up our mediation ritual, where we will sit quietly to think of friends and loved ones who have passed away. This will also be a time where we each will write on a piece of paper an aspect of our life that we wish to be free of: which we will burn during the ritual after we open up the space by burning some sage and palo santo. After our meditation, we will burn the letters we wrote, pull some cards and then we will close the ritual. We will leave the candles and sage burning- while we go to begin our intuitive painting. This is where my Mum will lead us (she is an intuitive artist), and we will connect to the energies, our guides, and spiritual family and ancestors to paint the energy that comes to us. This is really special, and I always look forward to this. Truly, my soul has been craving this lately. Of course, the biggest piece is that you can’t do it wrong or get it wrong.
Follow your heart and guidance and do, say, write what you feel drawn towards. Don’t force it. Your guides are with you, leading you, always.
So that’s our Samhain ritual. It is going to be a little different to last year when I co-lead a 120-person Witchery dinner with Natalie Miles at the Heritage Hall. This year, it feels a little different because it is about me. I feel excited to just go within and really honor my self and my soul’s journey with my Mum. There is something really powerful and important about connecting with her on this day, an important day for witches. A time of reflection, of looking back over the last year, together. If you have any questions or want to share your Samhain ritual with me, please do reply back and let me know. Also, if you have any questions about shadow feel free to email them to me.
Happy Samhain! I hope to see you on Monday night on the next LIVE with Chloe call on shadow. If you want to learn more about what your shadows are, how to identify them, where they came from and how to be with them (and work with them in partnership), you will love this call. Click here to grab your spot. Don’t forget, if you can’t make it LIVE, you will receive the recording in your inbox within 1 hour after the call, and you will have it for life. Many people from around the world do this, so if you do, you won’t be the only one missing the live.