So what does one do when you notice extreme resistance showing up? What was I resisting?

Sure, despite trying all day the videos weren’t uploading to youtube and everything remained in a state of the curling cursor (loading). When I got quiet, and Ollie stopped barking, and I took a walk outside in the cool early fall breeze- I felt something. I heard something. Sometimes we need to completely let go and surrender, to then come back to the space in alignment to know what direction to move forward. As long as we continue to fight and resist the status quo, we expand the split energy that we stand in.
Splitting you into two halves and creating a lot of indecision, confusion and frustration.

Surrendering means recognising this split and deciding to let it all go (including the desire to control and the attachment to the future)
so that you can step into witnessing what is actually going on.

To see the truth.

The truth is, somewhere along the way I began to get caught up in the ideas of what a ‘launch’ should be
and forgot about the essence of what I am actually launching.

The truth is, being out here at the ranch where life is incredibly simple and weak wifi is about as normal as weak coffee would be in a diner. My soul isn’t called here to get things done and upload videos. My soul is called here to dive deeper into my truth, to stop with even more stillness than I do and to explore the energy that calls me here. To be with it.

As I write this, I realize the hilarity that I am about to launch a website and platform that completely represents and embodies these qualities.

Chloe’s Countertop has been through quite the transformation over the past 2 years and I am SO excited to share these shifts with you. Some of you have been here since the beginning. Back when I was at the starting place of my spiritual and entrepreneur journey. 6 years ago when my feed was filled with food and I was still pushing back against some of the deeper truths that were and had always been rumbling from within.

Spirit calling.

Looking back, I can now see that Chloe’s Countertop was the beginning of that journey of turning within- which started with food and nutrition and has now taken a very powerful turn into intuition, spiritual truth and psychic work. The Chloe who writes these words holds vibrations of the Chloe who created Chloe’s Countertop 6 years ago, and at the same time, she is completely different.

The past few days I have organized items in my our house to remove energy that is no longer welcome to live here. Today, I found my old yearbooks and clothes. My light pink sweater that my bought me from British India when I was 13 years old and getting ready to go to my first Semi Formal dance in middle school. As I held the sweater in my fingers, I felt the pain that Chloe experienced at that age. I felt the anxiety that she held onto as she tried on dresses in the store with her mother, trying to find something that would look as good as what how she thought her friends would look in their dresses. We ended up buying 3 dresses (a regular occurrence back then in the Elgar household), all of which were spaghetti straps and exposed my childlike chubby arms that I hated. I wanted the pink sweater to cover them, but also because I thought it would help me to look and feel pretty. I remember that moment, and as I held the sweater in my hands today I felt the pain and intensity that I felt at 13, overwhelmed and completely lost in trying to understand why I felt the way that I did.

As I share in my new brand video, I haven’t always loved myself.

For a large part of my life, I ran away from myself and turned away from all of the quality and attributes that made me, me. I felt a lot of shame, anger and frustration- I didn’t like who I was and I couldn’t understand why I was the way that I was. At an early age I shut it all down- every emotional pathway that led me to my intuition and my higher self. Keeping these spaces open, meant feeling the feelings that I did not want to feel. I was in pain. And so I shut it all down, and didn’t truly begin to open those doors again until the creation of Chloe’s Countertop. This platform has been my greatest space of healing. It has led me on a deep and incredible journey of self-exploration, connection and understanding. At 30 years old, I can now look back and see all of the experiences as blessings. This journey has allowed me to step into this place of deep connection with spirit and the divine, and the gift to offer that to offers who are in search of guidance. This life that I am living is most certainly one of my dreams- I always thought that one day I would be helping people and working with people, but whenever it came down to the “how”, I would get stuck. I had no idea what the path would look like or where it would take me.

This ranch has been a place of deep healing for me over the years. Interestingly enough, we bought it the summer that I turned 13. I am only just realizing these patterns and the significance that they hold in what has shown up today and why the resistance appeared. When I arrived at the ranch a few days ago from Vancouver I was greeted with some energies that overwhelmed me. Even though I reached out to them and opened the door to their presence, a part of me (13 year old me) didn’t know what to do or how to respond to them. She got overwhelmed. Until I realized that who I am now, and who I was are different people.

The past 2 years have been the most amazing journey of turning within to truly into my power and my connection with the divine.
My work with spirit has completely transformed my life and has shown me the path that I am here to walk.

This new beautiful platform is the representation of that path.

A authentic, meaningful and magical celebration and collection of the energies that have shown up as I’ve stepped in. I am so excited to share it with you and to become more present and connected on this journey with you.
Please do stay awhile, have a look and soak in all of the love and magic.

I can feel the turning of energy within my solar plexus (you might feel the tears here) as I yet again step into another shift- a deeper embodiment of this work that is required of me, through me. I am so excited for what is to come and I am so grateful that you are here to be on this journey with me. And suddenly, the resistance leaves my body, I take a deep breath in and I feel the surrender embrace me. We’re ready.

Huge love to Sara Spada who is the designer and developer and magic-woman behind this website.
Thank you for your wisdom and creation, I love you.