Dear Beloved,

Without even concentrating on creating it, a theme has found it’s way into my day. As I was just standing in the shower I realized how important and vital of a theme it is and that it was one that needed to be shared. The first sign of this theme appeared when I was scrolling through my Instagram and came upon a photo that really caught my attention:

When I started the online search to find the source of this photo- I found several other forms of this same quote. The verdict? We all truly want to love ourselves. The desire and the want is there.

The more I searched, the more I found and the more inspired I became. Before writing this, I was standing in the shower- checking the lines of my body and making sure there were no unexpected ‘additions’. Suddenly, a thought flew into my mind, like an electric shock. If I can’t love my body, how can I expect my future daughter to love hers. The thing about biology is that chances are- you will pass on some of your traits to your offspring. When it comes to my body- I am sure that one of the traits I will pass on is my curves. Although I have a small frame and am considered more on the smaller side of things (sizes), I do have curves. Truth be told, I have been fighting this fact since they became a part of me back in adolescence. I have been eating, dieting, not eating and exercising for over a decade in hopes of eliminating these curves. There was a moment, when I was really unhappy and just out of a painful break-up, that I had unexpectedly acheived this size that I had been spending my life wishing for. Since then, I have spent a lot of time and energy fighting to get that body back.

Right? Seems obvious. So, as I was standing there in the shower- fighting my body, I realized something pretty significant. I put so much energy into battling and hating my body and it’s curves- where does all this energy go? If I can’t love my body, who can? This was a really powerful realization for me because- I figured that if I can’t love my body for myself (at this very moment), I can at least use the thought of my future daughter and her life with her body as a  starting point.

This has, after all, been one of the driving forces for me when it comes to the thought of having children in general. Since developing and living with eating disorders- I always felt that I could never bring another person into this world until I was able to sort my own shi* out. My biggest fear would be to pass on the struggles that I have endured to another.

This thought/message transcends across all features of self-love and self-hate. The idea is to change the thought/energy that you are spending your time with (one of those “I’m not good enough’s”). Everyone has one.

I appreciate that this is a lesson that will continue to take me time to fully embrace. In fact, I may never fully embrace it. However, I feel a little lighter today. I hope you can love yourself (and the body that you were given for this life) just as much. After all, if you can’t, who will? Do it for your children (or the future beautiful people of this world).

Change the energy. Change your mind!