When I was planning Living in Light: Costa Rica, I knew that it would be amazing and that I was really, really excited. But I didn’t know about the details. I didn’t know what I would learn. I didn’t know the obstacles I would overcome. I didn’t know about the insights I would receive.
Each woman coming from a different space- a different story- a unique family- their own issues and demons. How do I hold space for the darkness? How do I inspire the light? How do I channel the ocean energy, as Divi guided me to.
Here’s the thing- when I started writing this a few moments ago- my thoughts were: I can’t do deeper right now. This is about them. This is for them.
The truth is, this journey is also about us. Mel and I. My sister. We each come from our own space of looking for that deeper connection in life. Our friendship journey has moved through it’s own states of darkness, demons and strife. From misalignment, to financial stress, to competition and superficial expectations. The constant, returning to truth. Through our own personal journeys we have reflected a space of compassion. We haven’t always been on the same side of the road- and now that I look back, I realise that it was what needed to happen- to arrive here. To do this together, in this moment. To support each other’s rising- so that each woman around us can be inspired to do the same. To step into our purpose more than we ever have before. To realise that we needed the contrast, the discomfort- to arrive here. To recognise that all sisters experience it, and that we have an opportunity to change the course of that journey.
It’s taken me some time to get here. I was brought up with a lot of female competition. Always having to be the best, the prettiest, the strongest. To be enough for…my dad? For men? Is that what it’s about? Did my parents instil this within me, or is it just one of those beautiful add-ons with being human? Societies’ scares. How about every other woman here, on this retreat? Do they feel drawn to supporting each other to shine or are they bombarded with an ancient and limiting fear of not being enough or not being seen?
Last night, as we all danced our hearts out in jungle alchemy covered in neon words of empowerment, where were their minds at? Were they overcome with wonder- adoring the beautiful bodies; vibrations of sizes, shapes and colours? Were they inspired by the power, beauty and grace that surrounded them? I scan through the stories and voices that I heard and return to the same message- I want to be seen. I want to be enough. I want to feel loved.
Throughout the week, I continued to return to this stroke of insight. Trust. Trust in the process. Trust in their journeys. Trust in your light. Give them space. Give yourself space. Change is coming. Shift is happening. Trust. And respond with love.
That is my desire for the world. I have experienced both sides of the spectrum and I can confidently and clearly say that life is a lot lighter and more joyful when it involves supporting your sisters. When it feels good to celebrate their accomplishments and beauty. When it feels good to hear others celebrate them and you aren’t filled with jealousy, anger, frustration and resentment. When the thought, “what about me” doesn’t exist in this space of abundance.
So, how do we get there?
It’s a journey of trust.
It’s a journey of choice.
It’s a journey of compassion.
And it all starts with you.
When you see a photo of yourself, what thoughts come up? Where does your mind go?
When you see a photo of a woman, what thoughts come up? Where does your mind go?
Do you see beauty? Do you see flaws? Do you see light? Do you see shadow?
What comes up? Notice. Don’t judge. Don’t push down. Just witness.
It is all here for a reason.
Choose to hear the thoughts of fear and scarcity and add something else in there. Choose to see one thing of beauty- when all you want to do is see ugliness. Choose to witness something that you see in her- which reminds you of yourself. Remember that she is human, and needs as much love as your soul calls out for.
So, what happened on Living in Light: Costa Rica, you might wonder?
Everything changed. Why? Because we chose to be there. To connect, share, adventure, laugh, cry, write, observe, and move. And in every single moment of discomfort- we showed up and moved through it together. We helped each other rise. And, because I had her by my side- I was able to shine through it all. I chose to see me in her and her in I. Sisters from the same soul. From love.
To each woman that adventured into the Costa Rican jungle with me, by my side: I love you. Thank you for trusting me with your journey. Thank you for choosing yourself. Thank you for accepting me as your guide. The love and light that you offered me (and that continues to come in) is immeasurable. You are incredibly beautiful. You are the light. This is just the beginning. The ripple has begun, the waves are coming- I promise. Trust that it is and will continue to happen. It is truly not your business of how quick your transformation happens or measuring the stages of change- it is just your business to show up in each moment. Up or down, good or bad, “success” or “failure”… just be there. And in the moments when it feels too challenging, return to the our circle. Return to every morning in the pagoda. Every sunrise climb. Every meal. Every asana. Every breath. Every tear. Every laugh. Return to you. Return to me. Return to us.
To Mel– thank you for always saying “yes” to my crazy ideas and for pushing the barriers of comfort with me. You carry an immense amount of wisdom and healing power- and the world is ready for you to do this. You are exactly who you want to be. You already are everything. Witnessing you in your healing/yoga journey is exciting and boundless.
To Steph– thank you for capturing abundant beauty in each and every moment. Thank you for seeing the light in all of us and most of all- thank you for showing up to see the light in you. I love you. The power of your art is creating huge ripples in the world. (all photos are by Stephanie Hamilton (Nektar Photography)
Are you ready to join the next Living in Light adventure?
Send me an email to chloe@chloescountertop.com and I will make sure that you are the FIRST to hear details on the next retreat. Coming soon! Keep an eye out for more incredible and inspirational content coming soon.
So much love and gratitude to Living in Light: Costa Rica Retreat sponsors in these photos: Native Shoes, Mala Collective & Inner Fire Apparel (more content coming soon!)
